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“…all things were created through Him and for Him.” (Colossians 1:16)

Posts Tagged ‘Joy

A Pathetic Confession

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Life, for 99.9% of people, becomes a lot more than one can bear all alone at one time or another. At that time, we need help and begin seeking it out.

That is, unless, you are stubborn and think you can take care of things yourself and “fix” everything.

My mindset, as of late, has been the former. I’ve taken my reading habits and sat them aside while I tried to balance the increase of stress in my life. The same has happened with my communal habits of Scripture reading and prayer. Frankly, it’s pathetic. Especially for a person who has learned, on more than one occasion, and known for quite some time that it’s humanly impossible to overcome anything by one’s own power.

I see my friends and I see their joy and their lives and wonder what it is that has happened in my life that has stalled my actions, hampered my joy, and affected so many areas of my life, my relationships, and my ministry.

I’ve confessed it to my Lord, my friends, and my family. Has anything changed? Yes, somewhat. The problem is, though, that I’m not making progress or change in the areas of my life that are causing me pain and grief. All the while, my gracious Father continues to be merciful to me in my times of need. He continues to pour out His grace on me.

A few weeks ago, I asked a friend of mine what it would take to get him to quit telling me he was worried about me and jokingly asked if he wanted some sort of outward change — to which he responded, “yes, actually.”

Does this mean that if I start reading Scripture more often, reading for spiritual growth more faithfully, praying more fervently, and being more outwardly focused on God that things will get better for me? Not necessarily. Does this mean that these are the things that my friend is looking for? Does this mean that my Father will be pleased by those things? I don’t know.

I do know that I want these areas of my life to change and I want them to change very soon.

Part of the friendship that I have with Rod is that when either of us begin to struggle, we confess in order that whatever it is that we are struggling with or fighting against will be brought out of the secret (i.e. darkness) and its power will be significantly reduced.

Here’s my (pathetic) confession. May God honor it and change me … now.

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Written by Andy

May 8, 2008 at 10:09 pm